Title: The Navarro Crater Fields
Concept: A web-post, written in Phineas’ voice, announcing the release of a new region
Greetings, consumers! Phineas T. Rotostar here, with another message for our valued Customers™.
Let me ask you, have you been feeling run down lately? Is bathing in the blood of your enemies and/or neighbors just not putting the same pep in your step? Need a change, but you don’t know what to do?
Don’t get a new haircut just yet — Come to the Navarro Crater Fields instead! Yes ladies, gentlemen, and shapeless protoplasms of all chroma, Navarro is the place for you. Out there, watching a scenic vista torn by centuries of meteor strikes and over-eager spaceship “landings”, you will find exotic specimens! Rare minerals! Profit! You can’t wrong!
But Phineas, you ask, what about my family? I say bring all the kiddies and unhatched egg-blisters along! Imagine the look of amazement on their faces and antenna when you bring them to a genuine galactic oddity, full of excitement and rare civilizations. They will come face-to-face with races we thought extinct, and some others we all wish were. It will be an educational experience on ancient history AND survival!
Still not convinced? Then let’s talk endorsements. Oh, I don’t mean from rocket racer extraordinaire Russ-Jodie Fiddlestein™ or good ol’ Market-o-tron 4000. No, no. Navarro is endorsed by none other than an ancient race of supreme power, the Eldan! How do we know they endorsed Navarro despite the fact that there are none? Simple, they put NavarroTower right there! Ten miles high, built at the center of the scenic crater fields and actively distorting the planet’s magnetosphere, it says “Hey, come to THIS place!” Drawing energy from an anti-matter device, it stays upright in defiance of the laws of physics!
So, what are you waiting for? This will be a trip your whole family won’t forget for the rest of their lives. Ferries are launching every hour, on the hour from all major ports. Hurry, buy your tickets now! Be the first in your quadrant to say “I went to Navarro, and I had an orbiting good time!” That’ll show your enemies and/or neighbors who is the better sentient creature. Don’t wait, act now!
Title: The Fire Horse
Concept: An introduction to a new dungeon-slash-PvP-battleground, The Fire Horse, written in the voice of an old treasure hunter.
Did you really think there was nothing new left on Nexus? That you had seen every corner, nook, cranny and canyon on this demented dustball? That’s the thing about Nexus, innit? C’mere, take a seat, pay for the drinks, and let this old hound tell you just how wrong you were.
They found one of the meanest machines you’ll ever see. It’s as large as a Panthean dreadnought, so fast it’s a blinding red-hot streak when it goes by at night, like a nightmare set on fire. People have taken to calling it “Widow Maker”, “The Fire Horse”, or just “The Train,” saying the souls of the damned ride it down to Hell. I’m not one for superstition, but I’ve heard that thing coming. Now I think it may be true.
The Dominion woke it up. Now they’re sending a team of specialists to jump onto its back, like hook-ticks onto a Dagun. The Exiles aren’t going to let them have it, though. Not without a fight. They’ve gotten a crew of their own, and they’re loaded for bear.
Nobody knows where its tracks go, but I know they run deep underground. Guess whoever catches that ride will find out. Coming back… that may not be as easy. I’d wager the Eldan left some nasty surprises onboard as well. Hell, it may still have some crew left, and they’re not going to be happy about stowaways.
I’d be going after it myself but… With the Dominion and the Exiles in on it, this one is too rich for my blood. I’m sure at least some of them won’t end up smeared on the wall, even if most will. It’d take a rabid, more-guts-than-sense treasure hunter to go after this one.
You know, if you pay my tab, I’ll show you where you can ambush the beast. Would I lie to the person paying for my whiskey? I don’t think so. I’m sure you and your friends can rein it in. What d’you say?
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